Saturday, September 21, 2013

My Walk in Faith, the Beginning

Hello, my name is Leah, and I am a Christian.  I believe in Christ and strive to live my life in a way that would make him happy.  I want to be a light to others.  I want to teach my children about Him.  I want that happiness and peace that knowing Him brings.

I haven’t always thought it was possible.  I was raised in a dysfunctional family.  My parents should have gotten a divorce sooner than they did; we all knew it was coming, we were just waiting on them to decide it was time.  My father was raised catholic.  He went to catholic school and his mother was so involved at her church that she had her own key.  

I honestly don’t know what religion my mom’s family followed.  She says she is a Christian, and had us attend a baptist church on some Easter Sundays.  We would also go to vacation bible school during some summers. 

I am pretty sure our church was chosen on the basis of location, it was 10 minutes away-at most.  We lived at least 45 minutes away from any other churches.  The church was ok, but I never felt like it was a fit for us.  

My walk with Christ has not been an easy one.  I believe there is a lot of misinformation out there.  I grew up thinking I was such a sinner that I deserved all of the bad things that had happened to me.  This is the way we were taught.  If you have sinned, you repent.  You can not sin anymore.  Ever.  If you did, God would turn His back on you and you would not get into heaven, you would go to hell.  We were taught to fear the Rapture.  If you were not living the kind of life you were supposed to- completely sin free- then one day the Rapture would come and you would be left behind.  

As a child, I was taught to fear God.  We were taught that He would cast His wrath down on you and that is how you would know He was upset with you.  I pictured an angry man looking down on me with his arms crossed.  I never felt as though He was a loving man who wanted us to know Him.  

When things would happen to me in life, I thought it was all His plan and I must have deserved it.  Even when I was molested.  Needless to say, I did not deal with the situation very well.  This had a lasting affect on my life.  Looking back, if I had known what I know now about our God, I would have made much better choices.  I would have handled the situation better.  I would not have let it have a trickle down effect on my future.  

The relationship I now have with God, did not begin until I met my husband.  It has not been an easy journey.  I had over twenty years of teachings and thoughts to correct.  The fact is that I am still a work in progress, sometimes I still have those thoughts of long ago creep back up.  But, now, I am acquiring the tools I need to quite them.  I know that I love my God, and He loves me, too!  Even better, he loves my children and they love him, too!  

So, that was the beginning of my walk in faith.  It wasn’t pretty, but it is beauty in the making.  I urge each of you to get to know Him.  He loves you and will not turn you away.  He wants to have a relationship with you.  He wants you to confess your sins to Him, but then they are gone!  He will not hold them against you.  He will call you by your name, not your sins.  To be loved by Him, is the best feeling!

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